<body> Lost In Beauty-
...she's Beautiful

.name; alycia.
.age; twenty-two.
.resides; in norwich, ct.
.status; single.
.occupation; full-time student.
.education; three rivers community college.

...she is

a daughter
a cousin
a lover
a roommate
a true friend
& a best friend

...other beautiful souls

♥ MEAGAN ♥

...Dreams

.see a shooting star.
.get my masters degree.
.travel around the world.
.be emotionally stable.
.build my own house.
.be debt free.
.make a difference in lives.
.be a loving wife & mother.

...TALK OF LOVE





...beautiful melodies

.the stars we put in place.
.the dreams we didn't waste.
.the sorrows we embraced.
.the world belonged to you and me.
.the oceans that we crossed.
.the innocence we lost.
.the hurting at the end.
.i'd go there again.
.cause it was beautiful.
.it was beautiful.
- amy grant.
Friday, March 7, 2008


It has been nearly a month since I last updated my blog. I just found myself twisting and turning, struggling to sleep, and here I am...writing.

My dearest friend whom I consider as an older brother, Chaminda, suggested that I start meditating in order to fall asleep. I was concerned about getting addicted to taking the sleeping pills. I have been taking them every night for the past month. So last night, I started it. I decided to download some soft music such as Yanni & David Lanz (Pianoists.) I find that soft piano ballads soothe me. I meditated for a short while but I was mentally exhausted from all the studying and doing my midterms that I drifted off to sleep quickly.

So, I tried this method again...and instead of drifting off to a land I love, I started crying...

Something is wrong with me. I thought. I cannot pinpoint something specific that is making tears come to my eyes.

School is going extremely well. I love going there. I always end up befriending someone new in my classes and I am always getting compliments from them. I am getting good grades and spring break is coming up. I am a bit overwhelmed with all the assignments and midterms right now but that will pass.

My family and I seem to put our differences aside. I spoke to my aunt and apologize to her for whatever hurt I caused her. She also apologized in return. My family will never be the family I dream of but I love them very much. I may be seeing them with my grandma within a week. It is always good to see my grandma having her two sons in front of her along with her 4 granddaughters.

As for Milinda, I finally heard from him. He sent me an email and that made my day. I wrote him back and he emailed me again within a couple of days. He says his mom is really pressuring him to get married. His aunt introduced him to a girl and he said the girl is not bad but he isn't ready. I told him that she would be very lucky to have him. I am actually okay with the thought of him marrying someone else. I was blessed to have the chance to love him and be loved by him for those 5 months. He also said he hope he will see me again (I would love to but I don't think it would be a very good idea since we both already agreed that it would be difficult to just meet as FRIENDS.)

I met a great person who will be in my life in the long run. Sam Lopaze. He is an inspiration. I have never met anybody as hard-working as he is. He is only 24 but I keep forgetting that he is only 24 every time I see him. He has so much maturity that I rarely see in men my age. I am glad I met him, he is amazing. I told him he has my loyalty and I promise to be there for him whenever he may need me. I finally have a male friend...yay!

I have just started to explore other religion outside roman catholic. Don't get me wrong, I love being catholic but for anyone who knows me very well, they also know that I have an open mind and I love learning about other religions, languages, or cultures. So I have been getting to Buddhism and Wicca. I have always been drawn to Wicca since I was 8 years old but never really tried to look more into it. I figured now might be a good time as any. Buddhism, well, Chaminda is a Buddhist, and I have always thought that Buddhism is the only religion that is self-beneifical and that it is the only religion that makes sense.

I just spent last night with my father and we had a good time. We were laughing literally the whole night. I am so blessed to have a father who puts my needs ahead of his. He is always concerned and looking at how he looks at me, I know he is very proud of me.

Everything is going great...and why the heck am I in tears? Why do I always slip into depression when things are going great? I fell asleep at 7am and woke up but wanted to be away from the world and just slept until 9pm.

To be honest, I feel lost and alone. My classmates tell me how I always make their day because I am always smiling...I smile but then at nights, I cry. I believe it is one of the reasons why I can't sleep... my soul is crying.....and I don't even know why....

the beauty exposed ;